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"Christmas Rules" is a song sung by Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and numerous other Looney Tunes characters, featured as the Merrie Melody video for The Looney Tunes Show Christmas episode, "A Christmas Carol".
Bugs: Christmas time is here
There's a tingle in the air
Daffy: I sat on a park bench
And froze my derriere
Lola: We're all hanging stockings, drinking cocoa
OMG It's snowing!
Foghorn: Santa's bringin' tons of loot
And we got Christmas spirit blowin'!
Bugs: It's the time of year
We try to drop our negativity
Daffy: I just dropped a glitter bomb
To make the town more Christmasy
Porky: Christmas time can be so hectic
Shopping malls can b-b-be so rough
Speedy: But it's the best of all the holidays
Because we get new stuff!
Lola: I got sick on Halloween
Tina: New Year's was an awful scene
Bugs: And Thanksgiving was a snore
Mac & Tosh: Christmas, Christmas, we want more
Tweety: Yuletide by the fireplace
Daffy: I am gonna stuff my face
Gossamer: Punch the clock and close the school
That's the reason Christmas...
Bugs: All the buildings look like igloos
Daffy: White, majestic winter castles
Tosh: We can wear our Christmas sweaters
Mac: And our cool-offs with gold tassels!
Gossamer: This is why Christmas is great!
Sam: This ain't time to play or hate
Porky: All you gotta have is faith
Daffy: What a lovely Christmas wraith!
Bugs: You mean "wreath"?
Daffy: No, I mean "wraith".
[A wraith dressed as Santa flies over the city on a dragon.]
Elmer: My howiday depwession has been wifted
By the warmth of this Christmas sun
Tosh: And the city is so bright
With 50,000 pounds of Christmas fun
Lola: There's so many holidays
What the heck is Harbor Day?
Tina: I just know I work that day
Gimme Christmas any day!
Pepé: Yuletide by the fireplace
Daffy and Porky: I am gonna stuff my face
Gossamer: Punch the clock and close the schools
Kids: That's the reason Christmas...
Lola: I love all the shiny balls
Lezah: Children bouncing off the walls
Sam: Blinkin' lights we got on sale
Foghorn: Silver tinsel by the bail
Bugs: Semi-frozen river skating
Elmer: Candy cane self-medicating
Daffy: Taking back gifts that we hate
Porky: Fifteen pounds of winter weight
Lola: Fluffy quilts with Christmas cats
Sam: Ten pound Russian winter hats
Mac: Fruitcakes that are gluten free
Tosh: Eggnog by the gallon, WEEEEEE!
Daffy: Brand new cars with giant bows
Marvin: Holiday themed laser shows
Henery: Roasted chicken, Christmas trees
Speedy: Cheddar cheese nativities.
Everybody: CHRISTMAS KARAOKE BUS.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO US!!!