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The Gateau from the Chateau

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"The Gateau from the Chateau" is the first Christmas episode of the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!


At the start of the episode, the French Resistance manage to send RAF pilots Fairfax and Carstairs, who were hiding in Rene Artois's cafe, on board a hot air balloon bound for London. Unbeknownst to them, a German squad, led by General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen, are on manoeuvres and they just happen to notice an unauthorised balloon flight, The general orders his men to open fire but the balloon is too far out of range for the soldiers to kill the escaping airmen so they fire at the balloon itself instead. Klinkerhoffen orders Lieutenant Hubert Gruber to fire at the balloon with his tank but the tank is loaded with blanks since they never expected to fire at any balloons while on manoeuvres. Because the wind was halting the balloon's intended flight to London, eventually Fairfax and Carstairs crash-land back into Rene's cafe quickly after Edith prays for a safe landing for the airmen.

The next morning, General Von Klinkerhoffen arranges a meeting between him, Colonel Kurt Von Strohm, Captain Hans Geering and Herr Otto Flick, officer of the Gestapo. Upon hearing about stolen armoured cars, missing artefacts, blown up staff cars and railway lines and escaping airmen, General von Klinkerhoffen decides to personally control the district and upon hearing about the type of recruits the resistance attracts and Colonel Von Storm's reputation with older women, he decides to task the colonel with seducing Edith Artois, the woman the general suspects is the leader of the resistance, which the colonel than relegates to the captain.

The news spreads and the head of the resistance, Michelle Dubois decides that General Von Klinkerhoffen must be assassinated, unaware that she's not the only one who wants Von Klinkerhoffen out of the picture. Michelle wants him gone because the resistance can't operate under his control, Colonel Von Strohm wants him gone because the longer the general is in charge the more likely the general will discover all the priceless artefacts that Von Strohm and Captain Geering have been stealing with the intent of selling them after the war, including a rare cuckoo clock (the oldest in existence) hidden in a bust of Von Strohm. Herr Flick wants him gone because the general's control would threaten his romance with Private Helga Geerhart since the general interferes with Gestapo business all the time.

Upon hearing about a party at the chateau to celebrate the Kaiser's birthday, whom General Von Klinkerhoffen is a direct descendant of, which Colonel Von Storm's staff are invited to, Michelle decides that the party is the perfect chance to assassinate the general and his entourage. To this end, Edith decides to make a gateau with a stick of dynamite for a candle, which Rene will serve to the general. Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering meanwhile has bought a poison pill to contaminate the general's glass of wine. Helga has a poisoned dart hidden in her cigarette holder. Upon hearing about a plot about the RAF intending to blow up the chateau, General Von Klinkerhoffen requisitions the cafe and decides to host the party there. Inevitably the 3 assassination attempts go wrong since while the dynamite laden gateau is at the cafe, the candle wouldn't blow out, The poison pill sunk to the bottom of the wine jug meaning the general never consumed the pill once he had enough wine and Herr Flick accidentally smoked the poisoned dart thinking it was a cigarette, thus needing the antidote.

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