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The Gateau from the Chateau

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"The Gateau from the Chateau" is the first Christmas episode of the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!

Plot

At the start of the episode, the French Resistance manage to send RAF pilots Fairfax and Carstairs, who were hiding in Rene Artois's cafe, on board a hot air balloon bound for London. Unbeknownst to them, a German squad, led by General Erich Von Klinkerhoffen, are on manoeuvres and they just happen to notice an unauthorised balloon flight, The general orders his men to open fire but the balloon is too far out of range for the soldiers to kill the escaping airmen so they fire at the balloon itself instead. Klinkerhoffen orders Lieutenant Hubert Gruber to fire at the balloon with his tank but the tank is loaded with blanks since they never expected to fire at any balloons while on manoeuvres. Because the wind was halting the balloon's intended flight to London, eventually Fairfax and Carstairs crash-land back into Rene's cafe quickly after Edith prays for a safe landing for the airmen.

The next morning, General Von Klinkerhoffen arranges a meeting in the village chateau the German army had requisitioned between him, district commandant Colonel Kurt Von Strohm, his assistant Captain Hans Geering and Herr Otto Flick, officer of the Gestapo. Upon hearing about various resistance based activities in the district, including stolen armoured cars, missing artefacts, blown up staff cars and railway lines and escaping airmen, General von Klinkerhoffen decides to personally control the district and upon hearing about the type of recruits the resistance attracts and Colonel Von Storm's reputation with older women, he decides to task the colonel with seducing Edith Artois, the woman the general suspects is the leader of the resistance, which the colonel than relegates to the captain.

The news spreads and the head of the resistance, Michelle Dubois decides that General Von Klinkerhoffen must be assassinated, unaware that Colonel Von Strohm and Herr Flick are also plotting to take Von Klinkerhoffen out of the picture in their own methods.

Michelle of the Resistance wants him gone because the resistance can't operate under his control (the resistance operated fine while the more incompetent Colonel Von Strohm was in charge) and opts to use a bomb or booby trap.

Colonel Von Strohm wants him gone because the longer the general is in charge of the district, the more likely the general will discover all the priceless artefacts that Von Strohm and Captain Geering have been stealing with the intent of selling them after the war, including a rare cuckoo clock (the oldest in existence) hidden in a bust of Von Strohm, which would result in Von Strohm and Geering being sent to the Russian Front (which was a death sentence to many Germans). They opt to put something in the general's food and Colonel Von Strohm orders Captain Geering to get some poison from the chemist.

Herr Flick of the Gestapo wants him gone because the general's control would threaten his romance with Private Helga Geerhart in addition to the fact that the general interferes with Gestapo business all the time and opts to covertly fire a poison dart from a cigarette holder and tasks Helga to fire it.

Upon hearing about a party at the chateau to celebrate Kaiser Wilhelm's birthday, whom General Von Klinkerhoffen is a direct descendant of, which Colonel Von Storm's staff are invited to, Michelle decides that the party is the perfect chance to assassinate the general and his entourage. Rene has also been ordered by the general to take care of the catering. To this end, Edith decides to make a black forest gateau and Michelle hides sticks of dynamite in the cake and inserts the fuse discussed as a candle with a handle, which Rene will serve to the general. Colonel Von Strohm and Captain Geering meanwhile have bought a poison pill (a mix of weed killer and arsenic) to contaminate the general's jug of wine. Helga has the poisoned dart hidden in her cigarette holder. Upon hearing about a plot about the RAF intending to blow up the chateau, General Von Klinkerhoffen requisitions the cafe and decides to host the party there. Inevitably the 3 assassination attempts go wrong since the dynamite laden gateau is at the cafe, and Rene doesn't want everyone in the cafe killed in the explosion. The poison pill sunk to the bottom of the wine jug and didn't dissolve meaning the general never consumed the pill once he had enough wine and, because the general misplaced his cigarette holder, he borrowed Helga's and inadvertently fired the poison dark at Herr Flick, which results in Herr Flick hopping about until Helga injects the antidote in him.

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