Earl has wrecked every Christmas he's spent with Joy, so he, Randy and Catalina try to win a Dodge Neon in a contest wherein they had to keep their hands on said car, in an attempt to get Joy the car for a Christmas present. Earl is eliminated when he goes to shake hands with Randy, so it's up to Catalina and Randy to win the car. Meanwhile Earl decides to make up for wrecking Dodge's and Earl Jr.'s Christmas one year. He then finds out that Joy never told her parents that she and Earl were no longer married, and lied about his absence by saying he was serving in Iraq. She explains to Earl that her father is a racist and would freak if he knew she were married to Darnell. Joy's mother (Brett Butler) has also been struck with rheumatoid arthritis and kidney failure, and needs dialysis and is in a wheelchair. Earl finds out that this is a lie: she has been gambling away the "dialysis" money at an Indian casino. Earl has much work to do if he wants this Christmas to go well. Meanwhile the contest for the Dodge Neon comes down to Randy and Catalina, and when it turns out Catalina has no intention of giving the car to Joy Randy becomes determined to defeat her.
- "Santa Baby"
- "Don't Let Go" by Roy Hamilton
- "O Christmas Tree" by The Chipmunks
- "Jingle Bells" by Bing Crosby
- "Twas The Night Before Christmas"
- "A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives
|Jason Lee||Earl Hickey|
|Ethan Suplee||Randy Hickey|
|Jaime Pressly||Joy Turner|
|Eddie Steeples||Darnell Turner|
|Trey Carlisle||Earl Jr.|
|Louis T. Moyle||Dodge|
|Blake Clark||Buzz Darville|
|Harland Williams||Johnny Bubblewrap|
|Brett Butler||Connie Darville|
|Gil Christner||Contestant #1|